I woke with a jolt and a terrifying feeling I was about to fall from
the violently bucking rodeo horse in my dream. But, even now with my
eyes open, I wasn’t sure I was properly awake. I was still being
bounced vigorously in my seat and there was a cloud of dust all
around. It was a disorientating moment, looking across to see Alex
grappling with the steering wheel as he navigated the narrow furrows
of the bumpy dirt track, seeing him in his black fatigues and not the
cowboy outfit I’d seen him wearing in my dream. I let out a little
shriek of panic when he suddenly jumped with both feet on the brake,
twisting the steering wheel one way as the vehicle skidded almost
sideways in the opposite direction before stopping. The cloud of dust
that enveloped us glowed orange as it temporarily blocked the sunlight
before slowly dissipating to reveal an alien, surreal landscape the
likes of which I’d never seen before.

“Where are we?” I mumbled. A voice in my head was saying “You’re not
in Kansas anymore, Toto.”

Alex had already opened his door, jumped out and made his way around
the front of the vehicle. I was still flapping my hands, trying to
swat away the particles of dust and grit that swirled in the air
around my face when he opened my door. It felt like he’d opened the
door to a furnace, such was the sudden gust of heat radiating from the
barren, red landscape outside.

“What time is it?”

It felt like I’d been asleep for just a few seconds and I couldn’t
figure why it now looked like I was on the moon and not still in
Sydney.

“Alex?” I needed to hear him say something, anything to convince me I
wasn’t still dreaming.

“Bloody hell!! You sure can sleep. It’s already 2pm! I would have
stopped earlier but you looked so beautiful asleep I didn’t want to
wake you…”

“Where are we?”

“Not sure myself.”

It wasn’t the answer I expected to hear.

“I’ve got to check the map. May have taken a wrong turn.”

“A wrong turn? You can say that again!” I mumbled to myself.

“Anyway, I suggest you take this opportunity to go to the bathroom and
freshen up while i prepare some tucker.”

“Some what?”

“Tucker. Food, you know?”

“Oh, yes, of course.”

I still had no idea what he was talking about. Alex started to walk
toward the back of the vehicle.

“Alex?”

“Yes?” He stopped and looked back at me.

“Just one question…”

I actually had a million questions ricocheting like machine gun fire
inside my head.

“What’s that?”

“Um…” I started gesturing at the vast emptiness around.

“What is it?” Alex leaned around the back of the vehicle to retrieve a
five gallon plastic container of water.

“Where is the bathroom?”

“There!” He waved his arm in a broad sweep, casually indicating no
place in particular.

For a minute I thought Alex could see something that I couldn’t. I
looked again, staring out and the nothingness all around. In every
direction, it was like looking out at the ocean – a flat ocean of red
dirt speckled with tufts of low growing grasses stretching out as far
as the eye could see. A lone tree in the middle distance, its leafless
branches clasping up at the sky like a tortured hand clawing the
heavens for moisture, was the only object of any description between
us and the horizon far beyond it.

“Where?”

“Anywhere you’d like it to be!”

I found Alex’s casual attitude slightly unnerving.

“You can’t be serious?”

“You see this soil?”

“Yes?” I looked down at the small cloud of dust raised by Alex’s boot
stomping on the ground. The red soil was all I could see and I
wondered whether it was some kind of riddle he expected me to solve.

“Probably been ten years since this soil has seen a drop of water.”

I started to blush as it slowly dawned on me what he was suggesting.
“And…”

“Go on.” Alex waved me away with his hand and chuckled. “You’d be
doing the environment a favor!”

I stood staring blankly at him for a minute. I had so many questions
but none of them seemed to address the problem. “You mean…?”

“Hurry up! We haven’t got all day.”

Alex turned his attention back to the water container. I looked back
out at the emptiness all around, hoping to see something that might
afford me a little privacy. The solitary tree in the distance
shimmered like a mirage but I started to walk towards it anyway.

“Don’t go too far…”

“Why?” I asked, hearing the warning implied by his tone.

“I don’t want to have to carry you too far if you get bitten by a
snake.”

He was laughing but I could tell he wasn’t joking. I immediately
remembered a program I’d seen on Discovery Channel. Australia: home to
nine out of the ten most deadly snakes in the world. I suddenly felt
like peeing right there on the spot in front of Alex. Personal safety
above modesty, I reasoned to myself.

“Go on. Just don’t go too far.”

“You’re sure it’s okay?” I still needed one more reassurance.

“You’ll be fine. Just be quick.”

The panic I felt in the pit of my stomach seemed to knot tighter
around my bladder with every cautious step I took through the
knee-length needles of brown grass. Every ten or so steps I’d glance
back, not just to make sure I wasn’t straying too far from the vehicle
but to see whether or not Alex was watching. I saw him on the other
side of the vehicle, his back to me and standing in a way that
suggested he was taking a pee himself. “It’s so easy for guys!” I
muttered to myself.

After walking about thirty yards, high stepping cautiously over clumps
of sharp, spiny grasses, the cramp in my stomach became unbearable and
the urgency of my need to pee won out over modesty. I stepped back and
forth between two small clearings of red dirt, eventually deciding the
least rocky of the two would be the most stable underfoot for the
precarious balancing act I knew squatting would be. I unhitched my
belt buckle and unzipped my jeans, grabbed hold of my panties with my
thumbs to pull them quickly down together with my jeans until they
were at my ankles. Then, after lifting my shirt and holding it pressed
tightly just under my breasts and out of the way, I slowly squatted,
lowering my bared bottom carefully so as not to sit on any sharp
needle of grass.

The relief was instantaneous as my bladder emptied, sending a jet of
pee down on the dry, red dirt. It seemed an endless stream that, for
the minute or so it lasted, held me trapped on the spot like I was
tethered on the end of a golden thread. It was however impossible to
relax and completely enjoy the feeling of relief and I had to
continually tense muscles to moderate the flow so as not to splash
muddy, pee soaked red soil onto my jeans and shoes.

“Come on! Hurry up!” I groaned to myself. The sight of one ferocious
looking ant scurrying out of the grasses nearby across the hot, dry
soil had me looking for more. The more I looked the more I saw and I
suddenly realized I was surrounded by them. I tried to will them not
to advance on me, imagining for a second I could generate some kind of
force field with my mind, but it did nothing to stop them. In fact, if
anything it appeared as if they were now aggressively seeking me out
and I shrieked in panic.

The ants were the largest I’d ever seen. An inch or more long with a
black, battle-like armor shell covering their backs, a large, orange
bloated rear section and pincers on their heads that looked like they
could cut steel.

“Alex!” I squealed loudly and leapt to my feet. I hadn’t quite
finished peeing and the feeling of hot moisture dribbling down the
insides of my thighs felt revolting but it was preferable to being
bitten by one of the nasty looking ants. I screamed Alex’s name again
as I stumbled through the clumps of sharp grasses, my jeans and
panties still trapped like a hobble around my ankles.

“Alex!!!”