Lori kept looking at Bart out of the corner of her eye as
they drove. At 20 he was 7 years younger than she and
still in college. Lori met him at a ‘mentor/tutor’ club
the school set up for alums and undergrads. She had been
in the process of ending a dead end boring relationship
with someone 10 years her senior, and this young mans
passion for her was quite the refreshing contrast to her
previous ‘lover’. [They had actually scheduled their sex
life in his day timer]
Bart had come on to her from the first time they met, she
resisted at first simply because of the ‘mentor/student’
relationship. Not to mention his age. And her career. And
what would her friends think!
What would they think if they knew how much time he spent
chasing her, and catching her! She enjoyed the attention,
even spending time teasing him along. He usually couldn’t
take much of that. Like last night, she wore a tank top
and loose jogging shorts to clean the house. He had
pinned her to the wall, not even pulling off her shorts.
He made her pull the crotch of her shorts and under pants
out of the way as he pounded into her. She was well
soaked from teasing him, providing for virtually instant
penetration. And then, during her last period, she
taunted him until he finally just pulled out his cock and
informed her he ‘really needed a blow job’. They were at
the ‘mentor’ meeting at the time.
After they came out of the utility room, Lori went
straight to the ladies room to freshen up. As she looked
into the mirror she wondered if her lipstick would stain
his shorts, because most of it was rubbed off her lips.
No wonder she got those stares on her way down the hall.
Lori noticed Bart staring at her legs, and she knew the
new skirt was doing the trick. The pleated skirt was the
shortest one she had ever bought and she was afraid to
bend over in public. However, it was having the desired
effect on Bart. She was wondering if they would even make
it to his friend’s party when Bart pulled the car off the
road and into a dark alley.
Bart quickly reached for her, forcefully pressing his
lips to hers. Pushing him off her, Lori said, “No way are
we doing anything to mess up my makeup BEFORE we get to
your friends house. I have no where to ‘fix my face’ and
if we do something to mess if up, we are not going out in
And with that she clamped her thighs together to trap his
hand before he reached her wet underpants. He slowly
moved back to his side of the car, momentarily in
thought. Lori struggled to keep a straight face as she
studied him. He was scanning the area with darting eyes
and Lori could almost she the wheels turning as he
thought of what to do next. She did manage to keep her
straight face and suppress her smile.
He quickly reached out to her and said, “Give me your
panties.” In spite of her previous experiences with him,
she couldn’t prevent her jaw from dropping open.
Looking her in the eye, he stated “If you keep your mouth
open I’m going to mess up your lipstick. And we ARE going
to the party tonight!” Snapping her mouth shut, Lori
lifted her bottom slightly and slid her panties down her
nude legs. As she handed over her soft panties, he took a
deep breath and almost growled as he exhaled.
“I do need those back,” she murmured, becoming very self-
conscience about her short skirt.
“Meet me behind the car and I’ll give them back to you,”
and with that he jumped from the car and ran to the back.
Taking a deep breath, Lori opened the car door and
stepped out into the night, being met by Bart before she
could even close the door.
Breathing into her ear as he leaned her over the trunk
lid, she felt his voice “don’t worry, I just waxed the
car, we shouldn’t mess up your outfit.” And then she felt
the cool metal of the car against her thighs as she
pulled up her skirt in front, and the cool breeze over
her bottom as Bart pulled her skirt up in back. That
didn’t last long as he propelled himself into her,
grasping her hips as he bounced her off the trunk of the
car. She opened her eyes long enough to see a couple of
figures at a window, pointing into the alley. Clenching
her eyes shut again, she felt Bart reaching his climax,
and she knew he would finish before she did. And
considering the audience, that wasn’t a big problem. He
slammed into her hard enough to lift her feet from the
ground as he came, and she knew he had flooded her.
Bart giggled and twitched as he pulled himself free,
while she held her skirt up and her legs open, letting
his sperm drop out to the ground. She quickly grabbed her
panties from Bart as the sound of a door slamming
prompted her to jump into them, holding her skirt out of
the way as she slid back into the car.
“I really needed that” Bart announced, starting the car
and pulling past 2 men entering the alley as they drove
out onto the street.
“One of us is completely nuts,” Lori informed her lover
as she waved good bye to their audience.
Bart kept stealing glances at Lori as he drove,
occasionally taking a sip from the bottle of schnapps he
had picked up to enhance his party mood. The guys hadn’t
met Lori yet and he couldn’t wait to show her off. As she
sat there, demure and beautiful, Bart knew none of the
guys would believe she had just let him bend her over the
trunk of the car and bang the hell out of her. Just
thinking about it had him looking for another dark alley
and it took serious will power and deep breathing, not to
mention a couple more shots of schnapps, to keep on
course for the hills at the edge of town.
Lori was in a minor haze, her underpants were soaked and
she was certain a wet spot was forming on the car seat.
Reaching for his hand, she held onto him, looking at him
“I think you made me very wet” Lori told him, she enjoyed
watching Bart smile at her comment. “I hope your friends
have a clean rest room, because I will need to ‘freshen
up’ when we get there.” she continued.
“You bet, sweet’ums,” Bart cheerfully replied, “these
folks are real gentlemen, and know the ladies have high
cleanliness standards in the ‘powder room’ area. It’s
always a priority to show respect for the ladies needs.”
She doubted it, but Lori patted his hand appreciatively
Soon, they arrived at the house, a three-story mansion in
the woods several students went together to rent each
year. Lori was impressed with the home and the location.
It was no wonder it took several of the students to make
Bart introduced Lori around the crowd, and she gradually
relaxed. Lori began to feel she was somewhat of a
novelty, since, at 27 she was by far the oldest one at
the party. Most definitely, she thought, the oldest
After a short time, she asked Bart for the location of a
bathroom. He showed her the way, leading her up the
stairs. Suspicious of the route they were taking, she
delicately held her skirt in place as she followed Bart
up the stairs. Eyes boring into his backside, she felt
the eyes of the room follow her to the second floor
landing. Smiling back at him, she took his hand when he
offered to lead her down the hall. Surprisingly, they
stopped at a door marked ‘Ladies’.
Just as they arrived at the door a coed burst from the
room, seemingly out of breath and slightly disheveled.
She glanced momentarily at Lori, then Bart, before a
lurching start took her down the hall. Before Lori had a
chance to react to the strange occurrence, Bart was
discretely holding the door for her.
“If I’m not back in 10 minutes, come looking for me” she
whispered to her lover.
“I may not wait 10 minutes” was the predictable reply.
Laughing, she pushed him away and entered the ladies
room. Like the rest of the house, the room was huge.
Another door marked the other end of the room, which
contained a shower, a hot tub, and 2 toilets virtually
side by side. That was the only confusing part of the
room design. She pulled down her wet panties, smiling at
the memories the stained garment triggered, and made
herself comfortable. Feeling the remains of Bart’s
earlier passion leaving her, a small shiver went through
her. It was a pleasant shiver.
Abruptly the opposite door burst open and one of the men
at the party strolled in. Stunned, Lori saw the other
door had a ‘Gentlemen’ sign on it.
Nearly speechless, Lori managed to sputter “This room is
occupied! Get out!”
The man calmly stepped to the toilet next to hers,
unzipped his jeans, and pulled out his penis, and let
loose a stream.
“Oh God, oh god, oh no, this is outrageous” Lori
continued to sputter. Shielding her eyes with her hand
trying unsuccessfully to block her view of the stranger’s
penis as he stood and peed next to her.
The noticeably well built young man casually spoke, “I
guess Bart didn’t mention the coed johns, did he?”
By now, Lori had given up on any sense of modesty and put
her hands in her lap. She was beginning to wonder if this
guy was ever going to stop peeing. “If my bladder was
that big I wouldn’t need to pee but about once a week.”
She deadpanned for the man as his stream slowly faded.
Panic began to settle in as the ‘Gentlemen’ door opened
again, only this time 2 obviously over served young men
fell through. Mortified, Lori tried to pull up her
panties and stand up. The first guy was zipping up and
backing away from his spot to allow one of the others
room. Startled by one of the new comers, Lori found
herself pushed back onto her seat. Looking up, she found
a partially erect penis waving in her face. A hand on the
back of her head tried to hold her still as the hard on
was shoved into her face. She desperately tried to push
the man away, but he just leaned into her. Opening her
mouth to protest, she found the erection expertly placed
inside. After a couple of short strokes, she managed to
spit out the member and scream.
“Get away from me! Somebody help me!”
Her attackers only laughed, and the man who had arrived
first just leaned against the counter and watched it all.
Once again the door popped open and another man staggered
through. Lori vainly tried to stand, shaking her head to
avoid the bobbing penis in front of her. When she heard
the familiar voice of her lover, she cried out.
“Bart, help me! Get them away from me!” Twisting her head
she continued to avoid the penis thrusting in front of
Laughing, Bart shoved the two attackers away from Lori.
“This is my woman, and you boys need to find your own
cause this one is occupied.”
As Lori jumped up she swung at the closest of the
attackers and soundly connected to the jaw. Bart turned
and grabbed her, holding back another swing.
“Relax sweetie, these guys didn’t mean any harm, they
just got carried away. Most of the time the ladies just
join the fun, they won’t bother you no more. But they
sure had the right idea.” Lori was shocked as Bart began
to hug her close, pressing his hard on against her.
“Bart, you are insane. I should call the cops!”
“Sweetly, the best way to punish these boys is to show
’em what they are missing,” Bart managed to breathe into
her ear. She could easily smell the alcohol on his
breath, wondering if he was even capable of fulfilling
his end of the proposition. Pushing him away and pulling
up her panties in a most unladylike manner, she could
only glare at this insatiable bag of hormones. The other
three just leered at her.
“Seriously sweets, show these dudes what they are missing
and they won’t be able to stand themselves.” Leaning
closer to her ear, he said, “come on sweet lady, lets
show em how a woman does it and they’ll never be
satisfied with these school girls.”
Lori appalled herself by responding to her lover’s hands
on her body, and appalled herself further by responding
to his words. “You will owe me, Bart. You will owe me SO
BIG!” Lori muttered into his ear as she eyed the others
in the small room. Glancing down, she saw Bart had begun
to pull himself free of his pants. “No, not in here. This
place is Grand Central Station. You find something more
private or it doesn’t happen.”
Bart quickly zipped up and announced, “Follow me.” Lori
and the 3 others trailed behind Bart as he went through
the adjoining room and into a smaller side room. One Lori
was happy to note had a working lock on the door.
“Against the wall, and keep your hands to yourself” Lori
ordered the 3 observers. Bart ceremoniously dropped his
pants and invited Lori to kneel on a small footstool as
he sat on the lone bed.
Lori made a lewd show of filling her mouth with Bart’s
cock, hearing the audience groan and her lover gasp
spurred her on. She was determined to put on a show for
these guys, sticking her tongue way out as she licked up
and down his shaft and over his furry sac. The audience
groaned with Bart as she suddenly gulped him down again,
holding him deep in her mouth for just a moment before
she began to slowly bob her head.
Visions of a slut flashed through Lori’s head as she
tried to picture what she must look like, on her knees,
mouth full of cock, putting on a show for 3 of Bart’s
friends. The images alone made her clit swell as she
began to lubricate herself. Squirming, pressing her
thighs tighter together, Lori had to get a firm grip on
Bart to prevent her fingers from wandering between her
own legs. She didn’t want to give the guys too much of a
show. Yet. Bart filled his hands with her curly hair, and
she knew he wasn’t going to last much longer as he took
over and started fucking her in the mouth. Determined to
complete the show, Lori braced herself, submitting to the
assault, and marveling once again at the stamina of youth
as Bart erupted enough to drown a less experienced
cocksucker. Swallow and suck, swallow and suck, until he
A claustrophobic feeling overwhelmed her, waking her up
in time to notice the others surrounding her and reaching
for their own cocks.
“Shows over,” Lori announced. Jumping up and heading for
the bathroom to ‘fix her face’. On the way back to the
bathroom Lori heard the obvious sounds of someone else
having sex. A young brunette was loudly taking on a
couple of guys. She was on her hands & knees, one in the
mouth and the other doggy style. Another guy, laying back
and watching, had evidently been the first in line.
As Lori got closer, she began to realize why the brunette
was being so loud. The one in back paused for a moment
and adjusted his aim, “Not there….not
again….oowww..my aassss….mmmfffff. Mmmff. Mmm.” Once
again, the two men resumed the rhythm of fucking the
brunette. Lori quickly walked past, entering the bathroom
in time to see another young brunette stand up and pull
her panties & jeans back on.
“Too much bottled water. Are they still at it?” the jean
clad woman motioned toward the door.
“Yes, they are. Is she a friend of yours?”
Laughing, Jeans replied, “Yeah, I warned her what may
happen if she got a little drunk. Beer makes her really
horny, and the guys around here are more than willing the
“So I noticed”
“So, did you blow all those guys?”
“Is everyone around here so open and blunt? And no, I
only blew the man who brought me here.”
More laughter, “Yes we are, whatever happens in this
house stays in the house. And I do like your style.”
Repairing her lipstick and hair, Lori asked “What about
your friend’s style?”
“How much style does it take to let a couple guys line up
and butt fuck you?” More laughs, Jeans was very amused.
And her friend was becoming even more vocal. Lori and
Jeans peeked around the corner to watch. The one who had
been in her mouth had obviously had his turn, and the
evidence was all over her face. Her dress was pushed down
to expose her tits and pushed up to allow access to her
behind. Her tits shook each time he pushed into her, and
her eyes went from wide open to squeezed shut every few
As they watched, Jeans offered some advice, “Rule number
one, stay on your feet. If you get on your back, lock the
door unless you want more company. And, like I told my
friend there, keep your butt out of the air unless you
are handing out invitations.” And more giggles as her
friends butt had some more sperm added to the mix.
Gingerly extracting herself, she staggered past the
ladies to the rest room. Jeans helped her on the way with
a quick smack on the bottom.
Jeans pulled a joint from her pocket and lit it up,
passing it to Lori after taking a long drag. Lori and
Jeans stood in the hallway smoking as Bart strolled down
the hall, taking a long drag from the joint himself.
Moving closer to her ear, he asked, “Do you want that pay
back now? I don’t think I should owe you for long. And I
want to owe you big!”
Feeling the effects of the smoke, Lori knew she shouldn’t
consent right there. Especially since Bart was so
obviously loaded. Sensing her hesitation, Bart said, “I
know a quite place on the third floor, I can lick you
till you scream. I know you want that.”
Her panties were tingling as she imagined Bart’s
enthusiastic mouth on her pussy. He was very energetic
when it came to giving her oral sex. And she loved it.
“Show me where and I’ll let you know.”
Bart took her by the hand and swayed through another
doorway leading to a small stairway. It led to a room
with a large bed against one wall and a mirrored wall
opposite it. She heard the latch click as Bart shut the
“Take off your panties again.” He was behind her.
She complied, slipping them off and holding them in her
“Your skirts next.” It easily dropped to the floor. He
then stepped behind her, pulling her knit top over her
head and tossing it into the corner. The bra was next.
The sounds of the party drifted to the room, sounds of
laughter and music. And drunk people. Lori enjoyed the
sight of her nudity next to Bart’s fully clothed figure.
She moved to the middle of the bed when he asked, and
waited for him.
In a haze, she felt him on her again. He continued to
amaze her, completely insatiable he wanted her again and
again. She was feeling like the sexiest woman alive. And
he was feeling great. Again. And she felt even another
orgasm. Maybe even another multiple. He felt so hard, and
yet so different. So very different. Her eyes shot open,
and the first thing she saw was Bart. The intensity of
the building orgasm caused her to struggle with her
focus. Struggling to focus on Bart as he lay passed out
on the couch. An intense orgasm hit her just before the
realization that the man screwing her was not her
boyfriend. He was passed out on the couch.
“Look at her go…..she is so wild……I told you
“Oh lord” she thought, “This can’t happen!” As she
attempted to disengage herself from the stranger, he
collapsed while unloading his sperm in her. The
involuntary spasm of her own body paralyzed her as the
first stranger was instantly replaced by one of his
companions. This was a much larger companion. Stunned and
mortified, she reacted under the man as he planted his
wide cock in her cunt. Fighting him off with her hands,
her crotch rubbed itself against the second stranger and
she involuntarily spread her legs wide to accommodate
him. She felt stretched as his penis rubbed her clit
while he screwed her. When he finally finished, Lori
managed to dive across the bed, reaching for Bart.
“Bart, wake up! Help me!” He shifted in his chair, but
that was it. She had landed on her stomach, and someone
else had landed on her back. The one jumping in front of
her blocked her view, but she had seen enough to know she
was in trouble. The door was wide open and several men,
and a couple of women, were in the room. Lori thought she
recognized Jeans, and the constant giggle confirmed it.
When she opened her mouth to call out again, the one in
front shoved a cock in her mouth.
The one behind her managed to pry open her legs as he
brought Lori to her knees and quickly entered where his
friends had went before. Lori could only whimper around
the invading cock in her mouth. Soon, the one behind was
taking her with a frenzy she didn’t know was possible. A
pair of hands held her head in place as the cock using
her mouth went deep enough to choke her. He was so far
down her throat when he came she didn’t even taste the
sperm before it shot all the way to her stomach. The
frenzy behind her soon reached a crescendo as yet another
stranger shot his sperm into her clutching pussy.
Bart stirred, eyes fluttering open. The shouting and
laughter apprised him of his location. He was at the
Mansion. Grinning to himself, he knew he must be at one
hell of a party. Through the haze, he saw some guy’s
backside, pants pulled to his knees. Based on the way his
ass was thrusting back and forth, it was easy to figure
out he was fucking some chick in the mouth. Not
surprisingly, another guy was hammering away on her doggy
style. Straining, Bart tried unsuccessfully to see who
the chick was, but the one getting the blowjob was
blocking his view. Not to mention the crowd that had
Bart couldn’t even move as he watched the first guy get
shoved away from the woman’s face and get replaced by
another enthusiastic fucker. The one getting it doggy
style jack hammered his way home, rolled to the side, and
yelled “Next!.” Laughing, one of the women in the room
who still had her pants on, pushed another of the men
waiting in line onto the bed. Wasting no time, he
clambered behind the red head [red head?] and began his
ride. This sequence was repeated a couple more times as
Bart faded in and out of coherency. Eventually, he passed
Lori’s jaws had begun to tire, yet she reached to put
another man in her mouth. Her scalp had become tender &
her lips raw from the repeated use. The only way she knew
the men behind her were changing places was because they
kept yelling “Next” as they switched. Mortified, she
alternated between wrenching orgasms and shame.
The men had begun to pull out of her mouth as they came,
covering her face and caking her hair. She began to look
like she was coated with icing. And her thighs were
sticky and wet nearly to her knees with the combined
wetness of herself and what the men had left for her.
“Please, wait. Stop just a minute!” pleaded Lori. “I have
to take a break, I can’t keep up! Please let me rest.”
Jeans decided to intervene, stepping between Lori and the
next one in line for a blowjob. “Time out, give her a
rest, maybe she’ll want more of it later.” Knowingly, she
looked down at Lori, into her confused eyes. And they
smiled at one another.
“Thank you” Lori’s voice barely audible, she collapsed on
the bed as Jeans and another girl herded the men out of
the room. Looking at Bart, still passed out on the couch,
she just shook her head.
“Get a warm washcloth and a towel, will you please?”
Jeans asked the other woman, and then gingerly sat next
to Lori. She needed to take special care not to sit in
the many wet spots around the bed.
“What the hells going on…..” Lori wondered out loud, to
no one in particular. .”……and what the hell is Bart
doing over there.”
“Well, as for Bart, he’s working on a serious hangover.
Very unusual for him. As for you, I think you have been
in the process of getting your brains fucked out.” Jeans
laughed again, with Lori joining in.
The other woman returned with a bowl of warm water and a
couple of towels.
“Lay back and I’ll wash you up a little.” Jeans took
charge, gently washing Lori’s face, rinsing the towel to
keep it warm. “You are a mess” giggling, “but cum is
supposed to be good for your skin and hair. A couple
friends of mine try to swallow it on a regular basis
because they are convinced it helps their skin. I have to
admit they have great complexions.”
Giggling hysterically, the women shifted to a drier place
on the bed.
Gently, Jeans cleaned Lori’s face, moving down her neck
and over her breasts. Taking special care to be gentle,
Jeans circled Lori’s erect nipples, drawing deep sighs
from the nude woman. Jeans felt a hand on her hip as she
knelt over the red head. A closing door startled the
ladies on the bed, they quickly looked up only to notice
the other girl had left the room. Laying her head back,
Lori bit her lip as Jeans moved the warm cloth between
her legs. The warmth between her legs was not just coming
from the cloth as Lori opened her legs wider, tilting her
hips up to allow Jeans access to the stickiest part of
her body. Jeans pulled Lori over, rolling her toward her
in order to better clean the sticky mess from her bottom.
Lori casually lay across Jeans lap, draping her arms
around her hips, gently rubbing her bottom through her
tight jeans. As Jeans moved the cloth between her bottom
cheeks, Lori moved her legs apart, allowing her new found
friend to gain admission between her legs again.
Meeting her eyes, Jeans asked, “Are you tender down
Blushing, “Just a little. Not as much as I expected. Am I
Someone else’s turn to blush, “I think so, do you feel
“I’m still wet, but that’s a clean feeling”
More eye contact as Lori rolled onto her back, keeping a
hand on Jeans bottom. Looking to Bart, confirming he was
still unconscious, Lori pulled the young woman to her.
Their kiss started tentatively, allowing exploration.
Quickly becoming aggressive, Lori gripped Jeans bottom
and pulled her on top. Feeling the fully clothed woman on
top of her fueled Lori, she pushed Jeans to her nipples,
“Put them in your mouth, suck me!.”
Wrapping her legs around her new partner’s waist, Lori
grabbed a handful of the woman’s hair, guiding her mouth
from nipple to nipple. Humping against the smooth belly,
Lori’s lust caught her by complete surprise.
Becoming even more demanding, Lori shoved Jeans further
down her body and pushed her head between her legs.
Getting a firm grip on the girl’s head with her thighs,
she rocked her hips up and down as she rubbed her pussy
against her new lover’s face. Jeans struggled but managed
to keep her tongue and lips busy as Lori responded quite
positively to the stimulation.
Peeking open his eyes, Bart was stunned at what he saw.
Lori was practically raping his ex girlfriend and looking
real good doing it. Janna was vigorously licking Lori and
Bart had seen all he could stand. Staggering onto the bed
he climbed behind Janna before either of the women even
noticed he was there. On her hands and knees, with her
head buried between Lori’s legs, Janna looked as hot as
ever. Reaching around, he managed to unfasten her jeans
and work the zipper down. This was a clear signal to
Janna someone else was on the bed and looking to
Stunned by this turn of events, Janna attempted to squirm
her way free from of the grip the woman had on her with
those thighs, but could not do it. Not quite sure who was
struggling with her pants, Janna began to panic just a
little. With a legitimate fear of suffocation and gang
rape, Janna could only submit to these circumstances and
hope she ……….
Damn these tight jeans!! Bart was working up a serious
sweat prying the pants off her ass. The sight of that
wonderful ass was well worth the effort, and when he
finally pulled them down far enough to finger her
EXTREMELY wet pussy, he was almost in heaven.
But not quite just yet.
With a couple more tugs he had the pants past her thighs
and managed to spread her legs just a little. From past
experience Bart knew this was all the opening he would
need when she was this wet.
Ooaahhhggggg. Janna was now being fucked and was not sure
who was doing it. Her legs were barely spread but she was
soaked enough to allow entry with a nominal amount of
effort. She felt as if a baseball bat was stretching her
cunt from this angle and was very glad he paused for a
moment when the cock was fully worked into her cunt.
Trying to open her legs just a little further, she felt
the restrictions of her pants at her knees. Janna freed a
hand enough to reach back and push her pants past her
knees and over her calves. This allowed her to spread her
thighs a little more, easing access for the man screwing
Bart appreciated her efforts and rewarded her with a
continued pounding. Since he had already cum a couple of
times tonight, he was holding on a little longer this
time. Shortly, Janna began to respond, pushing her hips
back at him to meet his thrusts. Looking over her back,
Bart watched as Lori very obviously reached a tremendous
orgasm. Throwing her head back and arching into Janna’s
mouth Lori bucked vigorously into the young woman’s face
for nearly a full minute before collapsing back onto the
mattress. Freed at last, Janna pulled herself forward,
wrapping her arms around the other woman as she continued
to orgasm through the buffeting she was receiving from
Bart was getting close, soon Janna collapsed on Lori and
Bart was simply fucking a limp body and a spasming cunt.
And that was all it took. As he exploded into the young
woman he could no longer hold himself up and collapsed on
the women, rolling off them and to their side. It was
then that Janna opened her eyes, recognizing Bart with a
smile. As Lori gently stroked Janna, Bart grinned
mischievously at the ladies and said, “So, I guess you
two have met.”
“Yes Bart, we have. Now…who stole my panties?”